It's pretty obvious.

There's a line I make with anyone, and if you cross it...you've crossed the barriers of friendship. There's also a thing called strikes...and a lot of the people I'm not friends with anymore surpassed the number of strikes given and it was lead onto handing out chances and chances, one by one. I'm not one to say I'm perfect nor the right one. At this point, it doesn't matter who is right and who isn't except for the fact that friends don't do that. Friends don't spread constant rumors or make multiple myspaces making fun of you or alienate you. I'm not going to live with that shit again. It happened last year around the same time and it happened this year, though this year I have someone to help me through it. This isn't a "choose your boyfriend over your friends" situation. It's a situation that means I'm choosing the person that gives a hell of a lot more than two shits about me. That doesn't fucking trash my house after a party, the person that comes back the day after to help me clean up, the person that holds me when I'm on the verge of crying my eyes out, the person that says, "I'll punch that fucker if he does just one more thing to hurt you." I've never had anyone in my entire life be a friend like that to me.

I've always been that friend and I've gotten misused and trampled on. I'm so sick of it, really. I've spent a long time not having more than a few good friends in middle/junior high school and you know what, not having a rambunctious group of ignorant assholes who just sit around in the food court all day and not even 1/3 of them have real jobs sounds pretty good to me. I'm not preaching about how I'm high and mighty for working 30+ hours a week, but you know, I have more on my mind than just "hanging out" on a sunday morning. I miss having free time. I wish I had the luxury of having my parents pay for shit all the time and just be my fucking chauffeur to me and all my friends. But get this, I'm not 14 anymore. So, if people still wish to act like children, they will be treated like that. I think I'm just about done writing, but let me say one more thing. It doesn't matter how many times you say, "agree to disagree" or "we both were wrong" or even the rare, "I'm sorry." because it's not going to work with me. An apology is just a word thrown around. A real apology is showed in actions, however, that deems to be too late in this situation...or how some individual likes to keep referring to this as a "war". There was a huge mass of space between me and that line of limits...and you know what, next time I'm writing it in chalk and it's going to keep getting closer and closer to me because I'm not letting people fuck me over again.

Oh, one more last thing. If all of your actions were inflicted on me because of my boyfriend...that's really just low. Saying I'm "pregnant", have "STDS" or "MRSA" or threating me or making myspaces about me and songs about me and screaming shit at me in the hallways or defacing things of mine posted up in school. ALL OF THAT MEANS WHAT? That YOU want me just drop my whole life for you? Just because I didn't "Stand up for you." when it wasn't my place. I'm not your mother, but like I said ,if you want to be treated like a child...maybe you should find a new friend matriarch qualities because I'm not going to fight your battles for you...especially between two of my friends or even my friend and my boyfriend. It's not my place. Just like it wasn't your (as in four + other people) place to get a group together to stop being my friend, period. But, that's okay. I like changes. I like moving on. Like I said on a job application, I'm quick to adapt to new environments. But you hypocritical kids who claim that my boyfriend is the racist scum of the earth should just keep your mouth shut...because you need to get off your soap box, stop preaching, and listen to your foul mouths because I hear you say, "nigger", "spic", "squinty eyes", all that shit...But it's funny if you guys say it, but not funny if anyone else does. I'm sure someone will show this to all of you, maybe even make fun of it, print it out, do whatever. But I want you guys to find this eventually. Maybe you'll find it next year, or a week or a month or two. But let it be known that I'm not some rag doll on the ground who isn't reluctant to be treated like shit. Friends don't go the extra mile to break someone down (or try to)...I've never done anything in my life (or let it be allowed) to treat someone like such bad garbage. And NO I didn't send out nude photos of you, I don't even have naked pictures. HOW WOULD I HAVE GOTTEN THEM? Unless your boyfriend or that other guy you were seeing sent them out as me, I don't know what you're talking about. But if that was the whole reason why you made a myspace and a song about me, learn your facts and grow up from the high school cliche. Good luck in your lives, really. I have nothing more to say.

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¡V!

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